Okay, this didn't happen to me, but it did happen to this 52 year-old woman in Los Angeles last year. She was on my television this morning talking about the grievous eye injuries she received when the decorative heart from her thong snapped off and hit her in the eye. Now she is suing Victoria's Secret.
First off all, Victoria's Secret should be sued, but not for this. They should be sued for selling a thong to a 52 year-old woman in the first place. Seriously, I'm not trying to be mean here, but bad things start to happen to that area of any 52 year-old's body. People, you need to stop wearing thongs after 30. "But Oulsham," you say, "52 is the new 34, and I look great in my thong." No you don't. In fact, your arse looks 52 even if you feel 34. It's time to start wearing granny-pants.
But I have a question or two. Was the thong too small and the heart snapped off as the woman tried to wrestle herself into it? I mean, a 52 year-old who thinks she looks good in a thong probably has no idea that she's gone up a few sizes in the past 30 years. But the big question that comes to mind is, simply, why?
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