Very angry TWIR this week so if we all put our Andy Rooney voices on in our heads it'll be more fun. Ready, set, Rooney...!
1. I'm thrilled that I'll be helping bail-out the greedy bastards who thought nothing of destroying everything in their paths to get rich.
2. How wonderful that Congress and the Bush Administration are all over the banking crisis. Where the hell were they during the last three years when everyone else in the country knew this was coming? I hope they tear their rotator cuffs patting themselves on the back.
3. I wonder why Joe Biden isn't getting the same examination Sarah Palin is getting. Is it because we already know what a terrible person Biden is and we still need to find that out about Palin, or is it something else?
4. I've had the same penny lying on my desk for a month now. I wonder if I will ever spend it. The penny is really a superfluous coin. Why can't they make the nickel be the penny?
5. Didja ever notice weather people never make a big deal when the temperature is below average?
6. I've noticed John Madden is subdued this year. Is it that he is getting old and bored with himself, or is it true that he is really mad at Frank Caliendo and now he's a little embarassed. I hope he's embarassed, but I love him anyway.
7. The New Orleans Saints are this reporter's favorite football team. Let's hope they win it all this year.
8. I like the Philadelphia Phillies and I am happy they are in first place. Didja ever notice that Mets fans are really annoying, kind of like NY Football Giants fans, only with a losing record?
9. As Andy Rooney, I looked at myself on television last week and my eyebrows really frightened me. I'll have to get them trimmed.
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