Monday, March 31, 2008

The Freakin Blog Is Back

As you all know The Blog went away on February 19 due to my sudden need to be anonymous and upstanding. But that soon got boring. Really boring. Then the emails started coming in which made me realize that The Blog was far more than just the mind dribblings of a middle-aged malcontent. No, no, The Blog is an Institution, a Necessary Outlet in these troubled times of in-car DVD players, whore-mongering governors and grown-ups who really hope thirty is the new twenty-one so they can live with mom and dad a few more years. Yes, The Blog cannot be allowed to fade away. Not when it can serve as a shining beacon of snarly thumb-jabbing served with a side of sarcasm and common sense. I love The Blog, you love The Blog, The Blog loves The Blog. It has taken on its own identity and it must not be stopped. So here it is kids, just in time for The Next Big Story, or for me to complain about the guy who cuts me off in traffic, or for me to point out the time people waste living in their emotional trailer parks. The Blog cannot, no, The Blog will not be denied.

So I sat down with myself and had a long, heart-to-heart conversation that went something like this: ME: "I miss the Blog." ME: "Me too." ME: "It's too bad I can't find a solution to this current Blog dilema." ME: "Yeah, I hear you." sound of snapping finger ME: "Hey! I got an idea. Why not do a blog with my AIM screen name!" ME: "You've used it for years! Everyone knows you by that name!" ME: "My point exactly." ME: "Exactly." ME: "Brilliant." ME: "I'll say."

Just don't think I'm a wienie for taking my name off of it. I seriously stand behind everything I say and most of the things I don't say, it's just that I have a new-found love for a good paycheck and a fairly decent dental plan. And Lord knows, with my teeth, well, let's just say I've learned to pick my battles.

Anyway, you all know who I am because you're on my email distribution list, so you'll be okay with the wienie thing. I would also like to thank everyone who complained and yelled at me for killing The Blog. There were a lot more of you out there than I ever thought would waste time reading my mind dribbles and for that I am honored and humbled. But not humbled to the point that I could imagine actually being, well, humble. Hey, that's why you love The Blog.