Dear Crows,
The next time on garbage day that you dive into my garbage pails and it's raining like a friggin' monsoon can you please not make such a mess? I understand your not wanting to eat the egg shells and tea bags and dryer lint you left with the empty boxes and used napkins strewn about my street, but seriously, did you have to make that big of a mess? Now maybe if you'd had your picnic on a nice sunny day, thus not making my disgusting garbage even more disgusting by soaking it, I would not be so prone to want to shoot you all right now.
Don't talk to me about lids you idiot birds, you know you're more cunning than that.
Anyway, I hope that the animal next up on the food chain reads this and does me a solid. All of you rat bastards.
Your Former Friend,
Oulsham
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