My Horoscope

Today someone I know will embarass themselves in public.

I quickly ran down the list of likely suspects, and quite frankly, there were a lot of them. So if you know me and you publicly embarrass yourself today, give me a call. The stars have determined that I must be there to interecede on your behalf and I am ready, but here are some things I will not help you with:

1. Public flatulence - you are on your own unless you have a dog nearby.
2. Forgetting to wear your clothes when you leave the house - that's a dream and I shouldn't be in your dreams.
3. Oatmeal on your blouse - pathetic, not so much embarassing.
4. Snorting when you laugh - seriously.
5. Making fun of someone who you don't realize is standing right behind you - don't get me involved.