Monday, December 15, 2008

People I Would Like To Throw My Shoes At

I have never thrown my shoes at anyone. I did fling a flip-flop at one of our dogs once, but that was more or less part of a game of fetch. I have contemplated whipping my wing-tips from time-to-time, but I have never been so mad that I actually took them off and took aim.

In Middle-Eastern culture, throwing one's shoes at the object of one's contempt is considered the ultimate sign of, ummm, contempt. Also, putting your feet on your desk and showing someone the soles of your shoes is disrespectful. Eating with your left hand is extremely bad, and can get you jailed in some places still. Of course, if you know anything about Turkish-style toilets, you wouldn't eat with your left hand either.

There are like eight people I would like to throw my shoes at, but none of the eight would likely give them back, so after the satisfaction of boinking them on the head with my Nikes wore off, I would be left temporarily shoeless, which could prove problematic.

I do want to know what's going to happen if someone throws a shoe at Barack America. Will that person be labeled "racist?" Will the media be incredibly incensed, or will they, as the dope on NBC said this morning, be "sending a clear message to the President?" Will Rod Blagojevich toss his Timberlands at Rahm Emanuel? Will the guy in Iraq get his shoes back? And while we're talking about him, does he not know that it is always bad form to wear white socks with leather shoes?

Thank you.

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