The Official Oulsham It's OK To Wish Me A Merry Christmas Button (OOIOTWMAMCB) will be hitting the Swamps of New Jersey Tuesday morning. Which means Wednesday will be the first time the world experiences someone telling them via a button that they will not get unnecessarily angry if someone dares to wish them glad Christmas tidings.
The people are saying, "What about us?"
Well, here's the step-by-step guide to acquiring your very own OOIOTWMAMCB ("button" for short):
1. Add up the total number of buttons you want.
2. Multiple that number by $1.00 which is the real cost on the OOIOTWMAMCB, including shipping.
3. Email the number of buttons you want, who you are, and the address of your domicile or place of shacking up, along with a short, (optional) message that might read something like this: "Oulsham, you are friggin' awesome, how 'bout one of them buttons?" The email address is: EmailOulsham@AOL.com.
4. You will then receive a personalized return email instructing you on where to send your $1.00 x (# of buttons).
5. Mail your $1.00 x (# of buttons) to the super-secret address you will receive. Cash is King, so unfortunately make your checks out to cash too. Look, this is a shoe-string, non-profit, half-assed organization with no real infrastructure, so this is the best I've got. The address has to be secret because, well, quite frankly, I think a lot of loonies read The Blog and I don't know if you're one of them.
6. A few days later, you will receive your button(s). Be sure to order extras to give to the people at the mall who will stop you and inquire about that snarky little button you're wearing.
7. UK, Ireland and Mexico readers add an additional $3.00 for Par Avion. I don't think there are any readers in Canada, but I plan on remedying that by writing about bacon and syrup a lot next year.
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