Saturday, November 15, 2008

Possible Reasons For My Shunning At Enzo's Pizza

1. Enzo felt that a measly slice of Sicilian was not worth his effort on a Friday night, which is commonly referred to as "Pizza Night!" in many suburban households.

2. Gorilla My Dreams (aka She Who Shall Not Be Named) has escalated her campaign to further alienate me from all people of Italian descent.

3. Friendly factions in my own family, concerned about late night agita and the strange pizza-induced dreams (PID) I often suffer from, took prophylactic actions on my behalf by calling Enzo earlier in the day.

4. Concerned about the faltering economy, Enzo did not want to waste a perfectly good slice of Sicilian on someone who could stand to skip a meal. But that's his opinion.

5. Enzo is a jerk.

6. Enzo suffers from a severe case of Mussolini Complex, often exhibited in short men of his background.

7. Enzo has let the garlic fumes go to his head.

8. I did not say the secret password.

9. Enzo was offended by item 7 in yesterday's TWIR.

10. I did not kiss Enzo's ring.

This is most perplexing to me, as only items 2,5 and 6 make any sense.

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