Meet Oulsham

People come up to me all the time and ask, "What the hell are you thinking?" Sometimes they'll stop me and say, "Hey! What's the Big Idea?" Well, as part of our long-anticipated Anniversary Week Celebrations, I will shed a little light on that enigma Oulsham.

Name: Oulsham
Sign: Sagittarius
Age: Medium to Well Done
Sex: 33% man, 33% boy, 33% dude, 1% fella
Height: In between Mickey Rooney and Bela Lugosi
Weight: In between Bela Lugosi and the Sultan of Brunei
Hair Color: I dye it grey to match my beard
Favorite Flannel Shirt: The one I am wearing right now

Likes: Chinese food, Curb Your Enthusiasm, bratwurst, driving fast, small to non-existent government, vacuum tube audio amplifiers, Christmas, writing in my Blog, people who are self-aware, airplanes, people with good comic timing who don't try to be funny they just are funny, nachos, football, old dogs, rum, pretzels, New Jersey, the ocean, Ringo Starr, snow during football, Irish music, guys who dye what little hair they have really dark like a shoe shine and then go out in public.

Dislikes: Indian food, emotional men, women who wear their pants too low, traffic, liberals, really sharp cheddar cheese, cats, birds that don't talk, people who use emotional bribery to get what they want, spinach, broccoli, under-cooked greenbeans, the constant pain in my left knee which is caused by something stupid I did in 1976, stuffed grape leaves, being seasick, sweatpants in public, mopeds, Ann Curry, Sean Penn, Jon Corzine, the Atlanta Falcons, people with a sense of entitlement, sad sacks, Enzo's Pizza, Pedro's South of the Border, James Carville, tornadoes, men who wear Speedos, any dog under twenty pounds, shrimp, dry skin, splinters, the flu.