Hooray! It's Jackass Week!

I love this week probably more than any other week of the year. Well that's a complete and utter lie, but I'm just trying to get you psyched up for the Third Biennial Jackass Week! Now, there are a lot of people in my own personal journey who have proved themselves to be ultimate jackasses, but that's not what Jackass Week is about. We'll be voting Friday for The Biggest Jackass of Jackass Week. Well, I'll be the only one voting because it's my blog and my idea, but you can get your own blog and make up something like "Dumb Person of the Week Week" or "Here Is a List of Stupid People Week," or something lame like that, but the dealio is Jackass Week is mine all mine.

The first nominee is the critter who wrote this sentence: "Take a shower a day and in 77 years you will have soaped up more than 28,000 times - and sent a lot of water down the drain." (Nat'l Geo Human Footprint April 2008). Jackass. Water can be used more than once. In fact I took a shower just a few minutes ago with water that Napoleon Bonaparte's horse may have, well, evacuated. I brushed my teeth with water Jesus may have walked on. Does this imbecile know where water goes when it goes down the drain? The same place water goes after it falls from the sky. The difference is we sometimes stop it and fiddle with it before we send it to the ocean. Have you ever seen the ocean? It's big and filled with water. There are like five oceans and three seas I can think of right now, plus a whole bunch of lakes and puddles. With all of this showering going on you'd think they'd be low or something, but no! They're still full. And besides I've heard that French people don't use as much of it as we do.

I for one will continue to use water. I'll drink it. Shower with it. Drive my truck through big puddles of it to see how high I can get it to go. Swim in it. Eat fish from it. But I will not be made to feel guilty about any of it.

Jackass.