Remember back in caveman days when there was a solar eclipse what would happen to your next-cave-opening neighbors? Anyway, now that man has acquired enough power with his 17-mile tunnel to end the world I am going to share with you things I would never share with you if I thought we might meet again.
Today...Chuck Norris.
1. If you have $10 and Chuck Norris has $10, Chuck has more money than you.
2. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck is always in control.
3. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
4. Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
5. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
6. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
7. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
8. Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
9. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
10. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
11. Chuck Norris’ right and left hands are the only hands that can beat a Royal Flush.
12. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
13. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
14. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
and most importantly...
15. America is not a democracy, it's a Chucktatorship.
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