An Oulsham Restaurant Review

So we went ot PF Chang's last night. Here's how it went down...

The food was good as usual in that mass-produced chain restaurant sort of way, but out here in the swamps of Jersey it's probably the best quality Chinese food we've got, but you didn't come here for a food review.

Our waitress seemed overwhelmed. After about a forty minute wait she refilled a water glass on the table and cheerfully presented that as if she was a surrogate mother for us. The service was deplorable, and in fact after waiting thirty-five minutes for a piece of cake we asked for our check and split. She blamed the wait on the kitchen staff and told us they were, at that moment, getting yelled at. But that's still not what you come here for.

At the table next to us was four generations of women and an extra PANK thrown in for fun. One of the kids was an infant, and I'm not being mean here, but his head was growing faster than his body and he looked like Jerry Lewis. But the big deal was the seven-year old who decided to tap dance while she was waiting for her meal. That's right I said tap dance. And, to make matters worse the other three generations of women thought this was adorable.

I decided to go to the bathroom. In the bathroom was a server who was dancing to the R&B song on the Muzak in front of the mirror. He was mugging for himself and, well, checking himself OUT. He didn't notice me for quite a few moments as I stood behind him staring with utmost incredulity. Tapdancing sisters of Jerry Lewis look-alikes and horrible service is okay, but seriously, the one thing I don't want happening when I go to the Men's Room is a guy dancing in front of the mirror. it's...just...yucky. Call me what you will, but dancing in the bathroom is worse than tapdancing in a restaurant.

Thank you.